Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
