he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
