You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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