Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize