I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
