i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize