FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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