you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
