I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
