Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm at about main and main street
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize