you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
