Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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