:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
