apparently the secret to your success is patron
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
