i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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