I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
