Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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