this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
