Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
