is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
