I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize