Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
