My friends, they love my intelligence
She's JV to your varsity
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
