Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
