Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
