You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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