I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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