i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
