I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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