I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
