Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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