it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
My vagina is officially offended.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
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