What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
