There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
