Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize