He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
