I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
