You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
