apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
