Where is the hickey?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
