He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
