Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize