Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
