dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
