its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Four minutes until I can fart!
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
