Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
