Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
