I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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