Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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