I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
