I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
