There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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