Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
the gays at disneyland are vicious
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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