I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
