I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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