She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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