you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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