I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
