It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
