He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
