I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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