i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
