What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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