No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
