Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
nutella sex= disaster
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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