I saw his package. It spoke to me.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
