You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
