took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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