he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
