im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Randomize
