I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
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