Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
