Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
