thus making me awesome and them whores
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
No subtext here. People are naked.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize