Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Randomize