Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
